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Do you like bad jokes? Boy, do I have a treat for you.

In the spirit of the Holidays, we’ve (well, mostly me - shut up) been thinking about video game jokes suitable for Christmas crackers, inspired by my bad tweets.

We decided to publish these on the internet because we (well, mostly me) have a humiliation fetish.

So grab the other end and pull – here are some bad video game jokes by us (mostly me).

Why did Ash like margarine?

Because it’s Butterfree.

Why wouldn’t Metal Gear Solid V’s Quiet give up her sniper perch?

She just had too much skin in the game.

My mood when I find out what PlayStation calls the X button:


Who’s the cleanest Call of Duty character?


The Silent Hills trailer made me feel sick.

It was Hideo-us.

What do you call a friendly fire death cam?

Co-op cam pain.

What’s the triple-A game executive’s favorite cereal?

Anything with crunch.

Which is my favorite Dragon Age?


Which horse did Geralt ride before Roach?

Papa Roach.

That guy from Persona went off the deep end.

Yeah, he started his Joker arc.

(You can blame Georgina for that one)

What did Bayonetta say when she found her clothes?

Hair they are.

What is Booker DeWitt’s favorite band?

Lighthouse Family.

What's a robot dinosaur's least favorite metal?


Why did Ellie hate her trip to the golf course?

Abby kept getting a Joel-in-one.

I haven't seen the kid from ICO for 20 years.

Must be hanging out with Your Da.

(Also Georgina)

What do you call Heaven for racing game developers?

Burnout Paradise.

Did you hear about the right-wing YouTuber who grifted gamers by pretending to like video games?

Turns out they were only into role-playing games

Did you hear why The Matrix Online shut down?

Nobody got the MeMO